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Friday, January 24, 2014

For the Love of Winter

Winter is not exactly my favorite season. In fact, if we were to rank them, it wouldn't even be close. Winter would be the clear LOSER. And I don't think I'm alone.
According to my Facebook friends feed (and I have some serious kick ass friends) this is a rendition of how this past week of the snow vortex went down:

Day 1: WOOHOO KIDS!!! No School! We are sledding all day until we feel the need for puzzles, board games and reading every book on the shelf. Let me start on that gluten free coffee cake for breakfast. Get ready- this will be the Best. Day. Ever.

Day 2: Morning kids- no school. Again. Let's have some cereal bars, do some art and maybe this afternoon we could watch Finding Nemo. I might shake up today by adding a little espresso to my cocoa.

Day 3: Are you guys seriously still off? Ridiculous. Today we are watching bootlegged free movies online. All day. There may be some stale pop tarts somewhere. Please be a doll and hand momma that bottle of Bailey's to add to my cocoa.

Day 4: Let me just add some cocoa to my bottle of Bailey's.

Hello BFF.

Sound familiar? Since it is still (effin) January, I realized that we need to still weather a lot of this weather (pun unfortunately intended). I'm going to take a moment to look at the positives of winter (trust me, they are there, we just have to believe together). Our glass of Bailey's is half full around these parts. Or it's in need of a refill. Anyone want to pick up a case (or four) in their snowshoes?

Let's put on our parkas and do our best snow dance because here is what is to love about winter:

  • Think of it as working toward spring. We have to date her, court her and work for her love. Winter is the foreplay that that seems like it will never end but with each passing day you know you are one step closer to the best orgasm ever that is spring. You have to earn your orgasms people. 

  • Winter clothes are very forgiving. Who cares how many holiday cookies you consume when your uniform for an entire 3 month period is oversized sweaters, leggings and boots? You know what is not forgiving? A bikini. Enough said.

  • Time to be productive indoors. You know all of those projects that you never would dream of doing when it is nice outside (clean out the closets; reorganize the pantry; vacuum)? Now is the time to get er done. Or read more books. Or watch more movies. Do the things you love. Happiness is productive, complaining about the things we can't control is not.

  • Time to have sex by the fire. No one wants to have sex by the fire in summer. That's just not even practical. But if your partner/significant other/friend with benefits lights a fire and you shaved possibly shaved your legs and you shed those sweaters and leggings... magic will happen. Winter can be very HOT. Like I said, it is time to be productive indoors.

  • Snow is beautiful. I'm not being sassy here, it really is. There will always be a feeling of euphoria when the first flakes fall and to hear wide eyed children against glass panes whispering "snow"... and to see all of that brown and gray be covered in a blanket of pure white... magic. And I realize that there a great number of people in this world that have never seen snow and may not ever get a chance to in their lifetimes. So maybe I shouldn't take it for granted. Maybe I should even embrace it.

Okay kids, let's get the sleds out. Though I am not going out without a giant thermos full of just for momma's special "cocoa".

Happy winter friends and just think that there only 54 days until spring...


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